So I looked at the calendar today and realized that I have 2 weeks left to put my classroom together. I freaked out a little bit, loaded all 5 kids into the car and high tailed it to school, thinking that I could send them into the gym to play (my class is connected to the gym) and I would get everything done, and all would be hunky dorey.... HAHAHA (note my sarcasm). So I walked and facing me was a classroom full of my junk in no particular order with no rhyme or reason.
And all my umph drained straight from me. I wandered around school for about an hour and loaded the kids back up and we went to the park :)
I have been so excited to get this started, I have done so much preparation, and research that I did not anticipate having no idea where to start. It was a real scary feeling, fear that I would not be able to accomplish what I have set out to do in my class this year momentarily consumed me. What if I get in there and realize that I have no idea what I'm doing. (I sound so melodramatic right now :)). I was really disappointed with myself, I felt like a failure in that moment. Then I pulled into the our driveway (after an hour playing at the playground, which obviously lifted my spirits!) and there was a package, a small box with my name on it. I opened the box (after unloading the boys and getting everyone happy and content) and I found my last 2 masters level text books. In that moment, my whole attitude changed. I realized that I can do this. I am a passionate teacher who is striving to learn everything I can take in in order to become the best teacher I can become. In the box were 2 books, one for my Classroom Management class and the other for my Curriculum, Instruction, and Assessment for the Special Needs Class. One thought lead to another, and I called my enrollment advisor. I am ready to apply for my doctorate and have decided to concentrate in Special Education (a far cry from what I ever thought I would want to do). The moment of truth came when she looked at my unofficial transcripts and congratulated me for doing such a great job (my GPA is 3.8). It wasn't a proud moment, just a telling one. It is so easy for me to tell myself that I'm getting As on everything because I'm good at playing the school game (I've always loved school). But God reminded me of something totally different. It's not that I'm just good at the school thing, it's that this is what God created me to be- a wife, a mommy, a teacher. I honestly could not be happy doing anything else. He put people in my path to ensure that I am encouraged in all I do.
My husband has played a huge role in helping me realize my dreams. I took a semester of masters work after our third son was born. I was just doing it because....well, I really don't have a reason. I was completely happy working in private school, making less than minimum wage and having my boys with me. Then I got pregnant with the twins, and I got uncomfortable, life got more difficult, and masters work got more time consuming. The pregnancy was an easy, logical reason to quit ("take a few semesters off"). I also decided to take a year off works (a decision I will never regret), and be a full time mommy. As March of that year rolled around, I still had no regrets of staying home, but all I could think about was getting back into the classroom. My wonderful administrator had a position ready for me, and I started planning. Private school was nice and comfortable. And then my hubby started encouraging me to get back on my masters. I have to admit, I was a bit peeved with him. I didn't care about the money that public school could offer, I just wanted to stay where I was comfortable. But God was working through my Willy, and I reapplied to Walden University. Recently my hubby and I talked about that time of "encouragment". He assured me that the money was only a fortunate byproduct of getting to see me do something that he knew God was calling me into, something that he knew would make me happy and fulfilled, something that he says I have a passion and a talent for that not many other people have. And he is right. Without his extra push, I would have stayed in my comfort zone and lost my chance to go back and grow as an educator. (Let me just add, I have absolutely nothing against private school. The teachers whom I have worked with are passionate, capable, and Godly people. They are giving themselves in this mission field and working for the betterment of the kingdom of God. They have played a major role in my and my kids lives. I would not trade this experience for anything. But, in the words of Willy, if all the christian teachers and students pull out of public schools then there is no hope positive change. Public school is a mission field too-it's my mission field).
Please understand that I am in no way tooting my own horn, as a matter of fact I am fairly confident that I would not have done any of this without the encouragement of my husband because of the will of God.
Tomorrow is a new day, I am encouraged and enlightened.
"I will sing unto the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me" Psalm 13:6
My husband has played a huge role in helping me realize my dreams. I took a semester of masters work after our third son was born. I was just doing it because....well, I really don't have a reason. I was completely happy working in private school, making less than minimum wage and having my boys with me. Then I got pregnant with the twins, and I got uncomfortable, life got more difficult, and masters work got more time consuming. The pregnancy was an easy, logical reason to quit ("take a few semesters off"). I also decided to take a year off works (a decision I will never regret), and be a full time mommy. As March of that year rolled around, I still had no regrets of staying home, but all I could think about was getting back into the classroom. My wonderful administrator had a position ready for me, and I started planning. Private school was nice and comfortable. And then my hubby started encouraging me to get back on my masters. I have to admit, I was a bit peeved with him. I didn't care about the money that public school could offer, I just wanted to stay where I was comfortable. But God was working through my Willy, and I reapplied to Walden University. Recently my hubby and I talked about that time of "encouragment". He assured me that the money was only a fortunate byproduct of getting to see me do something that he knew God was calling me into, something that he knew would make me happy and fulfilled, something that he says I have a passion and a talent for that not many other people have. And he is right. Without his extra push, I would have stayed in my comfort zone and lost my chance to go back and grow as an educator. (Let me just add, I have absolutely nothing against private school. The teachers whom I have worked with are passionate, capable, and Godly people. They are giving themselves in this mission field and working for the betterment of the kingdom of God. They have played a major role in my and my kids lives. I would not trade this experience for anything. But, in the words of Willy, if all the christian teachers and students pull out of public schools then there is no hope positive change. Public school is a mission field too-it's my mission field).
Please understand that I am in no way tooting my own horn, as a matter of fact I am fairly confident that I would not have done any of this without the encouragement of my husband because of the will of God.
Tomorrow is a new day, I am encouraged and enlightened.
"I will sing unto the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me" Psalm 13:6
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